Bygone

Fourteen years

thirty minutes

fifteen seconds I've

held this grudge



Eleven songs

four full journals

thoughts of punishment

I've expended



Not in contact

not a letter

such communication

telepathic

you've been vilified

used as fodder

you deserve a piece

of every record



But who's it hurting now?

Who's the one that's stuck?

Who's it torturing now

with an antique knot in her stomach?



I want to be big and let go

of this grudge that's grown old

all this time I've not known

how to rest this bygone

I wanna be soft and resolved

clean of slate and released

I wanna forgive for the both of us



Like an abandoned house

dusty covered

furniture

still intact

If I visit it now

will I simply re-live it

somehow gratuitous



But who's still aching now?

Who's